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SHOW ME YOU LOVE ME; DON'T TELL ME.

 Hi, I'm Sam,


Well, I don't think anyone initially goes through life thinking they're not loved, a couple or more things may have made them start to think that way and in most cases, if not all comes down to action; how people act towards us or things we can't get ourselves to do or stop doing; just like God showed us love by sending his only son to die for our sins (John 3:16). Often you hear people say "Show me that you love me" and not "Tell me you love"; words of assurance is still very much valid but it only holds water for individuals who keep and stand by their word and not for people who say one thing and do the other and of course before you can tell if someone would keep their words the person must've shown you through actions that they do.

 

I consider sibling and family love as the truest form of love because it starts at the earliest stage of our lives. We can’t choose our family but we can decide whether or not we want to be close to them; just like in a lot of cases we can decide what stranger becomes close to us, but we can’t do that with who becomes our parent or sibling or even our children. I find it very hard to be friends, genuine friends with someone who isn’t close to their family. I know there are enough valid reasons as to why people might not be very close or even remotely close to their family but I think those are things we can still fix and I don’t believe that no one is irredeemable. My relationship with my siblings is so easy that most times I don’t understand the struggles a lot of people have to deal with just to be cordial with their siblings; no matter how hard they try, they always seem to bump heads with their siblings or they just come off as that puzzle piece that can never find its spot in the whole family dynamic.

 

In a lot of cases it is almost as though they are scared, angry, or too hurt to talk about why they're not close to their family and I believe that lack of genuine closeness to one's siblings impacts their romantic relationships; if you're not going to be genuine with someone you share blood with, what are the chances you'll be genuine with someone you came to know by chance. In a situation where they get to be genuine with their romantic partners, it helps them retrace their steps back to their family and do everything to get back to a close relationship with their family.

 

I wouldn’t say I was scared of romantic relationships, my issue was that I didn't really care for it and whenever someone offered, it was always a capital “NO” from me. I didn't understand the idea of someone genuinely loving me romantically which was weird because I get plenty of genuine love every single day from my best friends and family and colleagues, like visually and verbally expressed kind of love but I never liked the possibility of getting it from someone I am expected to be romantically involved with. But then thinking deeply, and with the help of my best friend I realized that I am a relationship person, I love stability and having my person, and that it's also a form of personal hygiene to be stable, in a relationship, and having sex with just one person. I'm hoping to find the person and I'm being open to receiving love. There are so many expectations from romantic relationships that most people overthink even before getting into it. A lot of people spend a lot of time and mental energy thinking about making a relationship work instead of getting into the relationship and taking it one step at a time. The main issue with overthinking is you compress months of living into minutes of thinking that when you start living, you realize that 6 months is a long time compared to the 6 minutes you spent to think about out.


We can either choose to deny or admit it but to a certain extent, love puts us under some kind of pressure. Some people overcome that pressure and some people unknowingly fall under the pressure. The pressure can come in various ways and instances and it doesn't come at the most convenient times. The pressure can be that your biological clock is running out, or the fear that your mates are already achieving a lot in that area while you are still taking your precious time. At the end of the day, you find out that you should take your time than fall into a regrettable situation. Anytime I begin to spiral out of control about why I'm not booed up yet or if I'm even going to find the one, or when I'll likely find the one or the age difference that should exist between myself and my partner, I use my Aunt’s story to kick myself back into reality.

 

Give yourself the grace to feel things and try not to rush anything about yourself. Communicate your feelings in the best way possible and in a way your words would be understood. Love is a passionate feeling and will sometimes make us act in a not-so-impressive manner. Only someone you love can hurt you and that is where Forgiveness comes in.


 

May your heart remain breakable, but never by the same hands twice!





Samuel Chukwu 

 


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