Some may argue that the expectation of something makes the emotions less intense, which is probably the reason why so many people will admit that they love surprises, because they have no other choice but to react in the most genuine way possible for them. It is a fact and I know that the sun sets every single day in my region, at this point it is something I expect to happen but I don't look out for it, I only take note when it delays or probably doesn't happen which I have never experienced. Because I expect it to happen, I'm no longer fascinated by it.
One of the hills I will gladly die on is that, there's no right or wrong way to grieve. There's no manual to it, you only react to the exact way you feel and depending on your emotional strength, you can suppress some emotions and control your actions. In several cases, no one plans for death, so all you have to do is react to it. You don't get to pick when and who it happens to, so you're left to deal with whatever comes next while trying your possible best to fit the pieces of your broken heart into their perfect positions. It is sometimes said that you don't know how strong you are until you've had to deal with losing someone you love. You will have to do multiple things at once, trying to carry on while adjusting to the new normal and the new normal is never what you would wish for yourself so you never prepare for it. No matter how much you wish to be ready for it, you can never prepare for the blow when it eventually lands, so you don't have any other choice but to deal with the intense feelings that follow.
I prefer to say "We live everyday but we die Once" to "You only live Once". Death cannot happen to one person twice, it happens and life for others continue. It doesn't matter how intense the feeling of the loss is, people who still have their lives will continue living it, there's nothing they can do. Its possible to mourn someone for a long period of time and within that long period of time, so many other things will happen, there will be birthdays, weddings, graduations, promotions, genuine laughter and these are what makes up moments in a living life. The intense feeling of grief is not deeper or more important than the feeling of love or laughter, it seems deeper because it's not regular and generally not a good feeling, so whenever the feeling comes over you, you would pray it doesn't stay longer than it needs to.
A painful POV of grief that so many persons may not mention often is Image Correction. When you lose someone that you know that you portrayed yourself in a particular way that may not be the best because you miscalculated or never even calculated the amount of time you have with them. The image correction may not necessarily be to show that you're a better person now but you wish to show that person more of you, now there's no do over, there's no chance to prove or even tell the person that you're not the type person you may have come off as. Because you gave yourself a time frame to act a certain way or say certain things and promise yourself to change when you get to a particular age or level in life, now death has taken away whatever opportunity you may have had to show more love, share ideas and make memories. Most people are not as upset as they claim when it comes to carryover. Yes it's not the best case scenario but deep down you're comforted because there's a do over, there is an obvious opportunity to make corrections. The biggest pain and regret comes when you know there's no chance on earth to get an opportunity to do something better the second or even the third time. Before my biological mum passed, every career idea I ever mentioned to her was always about money and I wish every single day since she passed that I can talk to her about my career path based on passion, interest and calling. I don't regret anything but I do wish she would see how excited I am about what I'm doing and the excitement will have absolutely nothing to do with how much money I stand to make from it but the fulfilment of destiny.
A green sunset feels like a whisper from the earth, reminding us that beauty and sorrow often share the same horizon; the end of a life can mark the beginning of another and not just about new born. I started living after I lost my mum because so many things became very clear that I could not overlook them anymore. Its rarity makes it unforgettable and ultimately helps us appreciate the beauty of the regular sunset which we sometimes overlook, just as grief leaves its deep mark, reshaping how we see the world. The green glows with a light, like the memories of someone we've lost, painfully beautiful, fleeting, and impossible to grab onto.
One of the hills I will gladly die on is that, there's no right or wrong way to grieve. There's no manual to it, you only react to the exact way you feel and depending on your emotional strength, you can suppress some emotions and control your actions. In several cases, no one plans for death, so all you have to do is react to it. You don't get to pick when and who it happens to, so you're left to deal with whatever comes next while trying your possible best to fit the pieces of your broken heart into their perfect positions. It is sometimes said that you don't know how strong you are until you've had to deal with losing someone you love. You will have to do multiple things at once, trying to carry on while adjusting to the new normal and the new normal is never what you would wish for yourself so you never prepare for it. No matter how much you wish to be ready for it, you can never prepare for the blow when it eventually lands, so you don't have any other choice but to deal with the intense feelings that follow.
I prefer to say "We live everyday but we die Once" to "You only live Once". Death cannot happen to one person twice, it happens and life for others continue. It doesn't matter how intense the feeling of the loss is, people who still have their lives will continue living it, there's nothing they can do. Its possible to mourn someone for a long period of time and within that long period of time, so many other things will happen, there will be birthdays, weddings, graduations, promotions, genuine laughter and these are what makes up moments in a living life. The intense feeling of grief is not deeper or more important than the feeling of love or laughter, it seems deeper because it's not regular and generally not a good feeling, so whenever the feeling comes over you, you would pray it doesn't stay longer than it needs to.
A painful POV of grief that so many persons may not mention often is Image Correction. When you lose someone that you know that you portrayed yourself in a particular way that may not be the best because you miscalculated or never even calculated the amount of time you have with them. The image correction may not necessarily be to show that you're a better person now but you wish to show that person more of you, now there's no do over, there's no chance to prove or even tell the person that you're not the type person you may have come off as. Because you gave yourself a time frame to act a certain way or say certain things and promise yourself to change when you get to a particular age or level in life, now death has taken away whatever opportunity you may have had to show more love, share ideas and make memories. Most people are not as upset as they claim when it comes to carryover. Yes it's not the best case scenario but deep down you're comforted because there's a do over, there is an obvious opportunity to make corrections. The biggest pain and regret comes when you know there's no chance on earth to get an opportunity to do something better the second or even the third time. Before my biological mum passed, every career idea I ever mentioned to her was always about money and I wish every single day since she passed that I can talk to her about my career path based on passion, interest and calling. I don't regret anything but I do wish she would see how excited I am about what I'm doing and the excitement will have absolutely nothing to do with how much money I stand to make from it but the fulfilment of destiny.
A green sunset feels like a whisper from the earth, reminding us that beauty and sorrow often share the same horizon; the end of a life can mark the beginning of another and not just about new born. I started living after I lost my mum because so many things became very clear that I could not overlook them anymore. Its rarity makes it unforgettable and ultimately helps us appreciate the beauty of the regular sunset which we sometimes overlook, just as grief leaves its deep mark, reshaping how we see the world. The green glows with a light, like the memories of someone we've lost, painfully beautiful, fleeting, and impossible to grab onto.
