MOTHER'S LOVE

Hi, I’m Sam

 

Everything not always going my way is something else I’ve come to accept; weeks after my mum passed we were having our usual morning prayer and I had to ask a question that had been bothering me. I asked that, all the time my mum was sick I prayed to God for healing all the time and had faith as well, but in the end, mum died, was it that everyone that was praying for her, myself included didn’t have the right faith or our faith wasn’t strong or big enough or was it that God didn’t hear our prayer or just didn’t want to answer? My Dad's chaplain explained to me that morning that there’s something called The Sovereignty of God; that God can make a decision contrary to what we wanted and no matter what his decision was, it was always in our best interest whether we could see it or not. I wasn’t angry at God that Mum was no more, I was just confused. I learned early in life that God’s Will would be done at all times and that is why anytime I find myself in a tough spot that I need to pray myself out of, I will always pray that God’s Will should be done because at the end that is exactly what will happen.

 

My mum? Well my mum was my first love, I have this unexplainable love for my mum. She was the easiest and happiest person to be around, but don’t get me wrong, she can flog, I mean she is a Nigerian teacher; maybe if I had just said a teacher, you wouldn’t paint the picture right. I can convince my mum more easily than my dad, maybe because she feels like we have access to the internet so she feels like we do know some things better than her. She asks for my opinion on a lot of things but never on how to parent me; probably because she knows a lot about that. In the address she gave at her last conference, she said this about parenting; “Child training is better handled by both parents (if they are still alive) for each has a part to play. Unfortunately, this important responsibility is traditionally left to the women, because often you hear men command their children who need their father’s attention “Go to your mother, I am busy”. The decline in fatherhood has created a lot of problems and has continued to widen the gap between our youths and their parents, especially their problems in their younger years. Let our men rethink and reconsider their ways. That you provide food for the family is not enough, Identify with your children for the love of a father fosters confidence in children and gives them a sense of security. Father’s love and discipline help children to grow into responsible trustworthy adults and respected in society.

 

Discover your child’s temperament and handle him/her appropriately. Every child is different and care must be taken to get positive results from each child. Take note that children have little rights, especially the right to expression. You should give them a chance to express their feeling or to speak when need be. Do not be too autocratic if you want to win them, this is very important/ vital especially as they move into the adolescent age/stage. During adolescence, children have started to become conscious of their bodies with all the features of maturity being manifested. There is an increased desire to prove that they are now adults. This then is the period to grab and tie them to you by showing parental love, care blended with discipline”.

 

I got my mum’s temper, you’d be a pain in the ass to get my mum pissed at you, and she doesn’t get angry easily. Even if she was angry you wouldn’t know and she would let you know if you offended her. My mum lived a happy life because the things that genuinely made her happy were within reach; God, family, and teaching. She loved teaching so much that she went to school even when she was sick or during a strike.

 

I started driving without my dad’s knowledge; I followed my mum to the license office to renew her driver’s license one time and I was able to convince her to get me a learner’s permit so whenever our driver was taking her anywhere I would use that opportunity to practice my driving. I like to think that I’m a very good driver and not long after all the errands were diverted to me, at first it was fun but not long I started making excuses.

 

It’s practically impossible for any of us to miss morning prayers whenever mum was around, she won’t start prayers till you come out; when I was younger my prayers were always short and you’ll only be able to hear half of the prayer and probably say Amen to half of the half you heard but that’s not the case anymore; practice makes perfect. A typical morning prayer in our house starts with praise and worship, after which we sing hymns and then we read the Bible, my dad explains and everyone gives their contributions, we ask questions if any and then we pray and everyone disappears back to their rooms to enjoy that morning sleep. The only thing I feel I owe to my mum is to be successful, charitable, and closer to God than ever before.