Hi, I’m Sam,
For different people “freedom” means
different things. Although my dad is a Bishop and my mum was a teacher, I
wasn’t caged (as most people would say) growing up but I still grew up with
strict morals and ethics which I also hold dear to my heart. I had a curfew but
it was not official. I wasn’t allowed to do some things and that made me not
misbehave when I got into the University but in some people’s cases it made
them go wild. I started driving at 16, I can still remember going to the
license office to get my learner’s permit. After getting it I was so excited
but to my surprise, it wasn’t like a “driver’s license”, it was more like a
photocopied sack letter only that it had my passport photograph on it; I wasn’t
too excited anymore about the learner’s permit because I wanted to fill up
those spaces in my wallet that could fit a driver’s license or an ATM card.
Days after getting it I became scared to drive because every night before going
to bed I would start thinking to myself is it safe at all to drive? What if I
step on the brakes when I want to accelerate or even worse accelerate when I
want to brake? Silly questions started going through my head but it didn’t stop
me from driving the next day when I was handed the keys. I had a big stature so
I didn’t look 16 when I was 16 so I could pass as an Eighteen year old. The
part I didn’t like about driving was getting up early to wash the car; Because
my dad made sure I was the one taking care of the car I was using unless it was
something mechanical. It was fun the first few days but got terrible when I
found out I would be doing that more often. Weeks after I started driving alone
without adult supervision I was always excited to run errands, any errand
outside the compound left that to me to the extent our driver was receiving
salary without doing much. Fast forward to 5 months later, I got so tired of
driving that whenever you sent me on an errand I’d find one excuse or the
other; either there was no fuel in the car or the car was dirty or even the
brakes was malfunctioning. I will have to say whatever it took for me not to
drive.
A lot of people only get their freedom when
they get into a university which kind of motivates them to pass their JAMB and
WAEC (by all means necessary) and when choosing a school, they choose the one
far away from home so that they can be “really free”. For me freedom is not
doing what I want or have to do, freedom is doing what I love to do and having
support from friends and family doing it. If I decide to go off and do
something I’m typically not allowed to do at home I always feel the need to
tell someone and that feeling makes me feel like I’m not free, so I can safely
say that’s not freedom for me. When you first get into the University you start
receiving advice from a lot of people, but the truth is that whatever mistake
you make stays with you and the only way you can live with it is by making them
on your own. Never allow people to push you into making mistakes, that’s one of
the worst feelings ever. Some run wild with their newly found freedom and that
is why I think some parents need to change the way they raise their kids. Yes,
they are your children and you have every right to raise them the way you want
but think about when they grow up, raise them not to resent you when they grow
up.
Speaking as a teenager, a lot of
pressure is put on us as not just a teenager but “Nigerian Teenagers” I’m not
saying others Teenage years are so easy but I’m trying to speak from the
perspective I’m familiar with. Some parents would see that their kids don’t do
so well in school but have great talent, instead of nurturing their talents,
they expect you to bury them because they feel you can never be a positive
influence in society unless you go to school. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t
go to school but don’t make your children suffer in the future when you make
them bury their talent and focus on school. You as an individual should not let
anyone make you bury your talent even if they are your parent, I’m not saying
you should disobey or go over their heads but try to explain to them and make
them listen to you (not in a rude way though) and let them know that there’s
more to life than going through school; There is always a balance between
school and talent/ interest. Some people don’t get the opportunity to go to
school but there’s always something better for them in a lot of cases. Our
parents need to understand that the world is always evolving and how things
happened back then is different from how things are happening right now and
things won’t be the same in years to come when we become parents and we will
also need to evolve.
There’s no general definition of
“Freedom”, you define it depending on how you feel or your type of person.
There are some things I tell people I did growing up and they end up being
surprised and say “So you were allowed to do that” They may end up saying you
have all the freedom in the world but to me, that’s not freedom. I sometimes
confuse privilege with freedom; just because I have the privilege to do
something doesn’t mean I’m free to do it.