Hi, I’m Sam,
Everything is
not always as it seems, and that can be positive or negative. This doesn't mean
you should go around with trust issues or disbelief with anything and
everything someone says. I want to talk about this from a personal point of
view. We would be able to love ourselves more if we could ask ourselves
questions and give ourselves very honest answers. We can deceive people but we
cannot deceive or lie to ourselves. Looking deep into ourselves, tracing our
patterns and past decisions does not only help us perform a predictive
analysis, in this case, it helps us understand and know ourselves more than we
think we do. A lot of people are really scared of knowing their genuine selves
which is why they prefer to live by other people’s rules or even do the
opposite of what they want. Some people have mastered the art of not being
themselves that they don't live like themselves and they don't copy people either;
it’s almost as if they're in between themselves and almost someone else. I know
someone who would rather act confident than be confident but thinking about it,
this person can pretend to be confident long enough that he believes it and
lives that way. This may be risky because the lifestyle is not from a genuine
self-source and is still masking some areas of his life which will affect his
future in times to come.
The mask a lot
of people wear can be a result of a lot of things which can be either trivial
like being "cool" or major like traumatic experiences growing up or
otherwise. Either way, keeping the mask on and living life that way does more
harm than good, I don't care how long you must have worn it and had it work for
you. Living a masked life makes you feel like you're floating through time and
you realize that you cannot tangibly explain how you lived the past 5 or 10
years because you were not living intentionally. You cannot live an intentional
life while being masked. I love the way a cousin of mine can tell me what she
was doing in a certain period of her life; she can tell you with proof what
fashion styles she was into at any period of her life, or the kind of music she
was into and what she was working towards at any period of her life. I have
always admired that and I asked myself questions and tried to see if I could
recall what I was doing at a certain period of my life. It’s an exercise I do
to date to remind myself to live with purpose and intentionality.
Its ok judge a
book by its cover but not in every case; this can mean giving people the
benefit of the doubt until they prove with actions otherwise. To me, judging a
book by its cover simply means having expectations but not having so much of an
expectation that can lead to disappointment. We all expect something no matter
how little and finding that balance of expectation from people or situations
helps us live honestly and with intention. Friends can help us unmask ourselves
but we also have to be honest and certain that we want to get to know ourselves
no matter how uncomfortable it might be. When the cause of a problem is known,
then we can try to fix those problems, which is why it is very important to
surround yourself with the right and genuine people. People are different and
as such you cannot have a blueprint as to how to select and have the right
people in your corner. We meet and interact with people in different unique
situations and as such what applies to one person might now apply to the next
and blueprints are supposed to be applied the same way no matter the situation.
I for one jumped from one career idea to the next and my friends were there to
support me while asking me the right questions, giving me the freedom to figure
out things for myself and helping me figure things out. My friends and I found
the right balance and I'm very grateful for that.
Living masked
can also translate to living a lie or in denial. Unmasking yourself helps you
make the right decision and fulfill your destiny. The earlier you unmask
yourself, the earlier you start living your purpose and fulfilling your
destiny. Living a purposeful life is an experiential thing, it cannot really be
explained but when you're living a life of purpose, you will definitely know
and sometimes you will find it very difficult to explain it to people,
especially people who do not understand what it feels like to live a life of
purpose. We have things about us that we may sometimes consider flaws, but to a
certain extent that is what makes us different in a good way from others around
us. It’s time to start seeing those “flaws” as our special feature or trait; we
need to appreciate that which is unique to us and find a way to use it to our
advantage, see it as a strength and not as a weakness.
Love is the greatest motivator for change, I think a new fear was unlocked in me when I heard through a video someone say that there are people whose success is tied to you being successful. At first thought, it’s like there is an intense pressure to make it because people are relying on you but I love to see it from the aspect of living an intentional and purposeful life. You are to live a life of purpose that will affect those around you positively. From that statement, no one is putting pressure on you but to be prompted to make decisions with integrity and ultimately live a life of purpose for positive impact.