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THE REAL ME

Hi, I’m Sam,



When it comes to opening up to people, I follow my instincts to trust so easily and I've never been burnt from that which is why I think I still do it. I don't think there is anything about or in my life at this moment that at least 2 persons are unaware of. My circle is pretty tight but not everyone in my circle knows absolutely everything. I don't open up to anyone in my circle with any atom of fear of lack of confidentiality. I think one of the reasons why I tend to overshare is because I want to hold myself and be held accountable for whatever I say.  If I share a plan, I want to be held responsible to make sure I work hard enough to achieve whatever it is I say. Telling someone for me means putting it out into the universe and won't be able to lie and say I never wanted to do that or never said such a thing.

 


I have always had this intense fear and discomfort with sharing anything about me especially my thoughts on the internet. It took a lot of prayers and sermons for me to accept that it was what I was meant to be doing and as such made me feel like I don't need to do it to feel complete but it has given me a sense of purpose and I have always known deep down that it is what I am meant to be doing but the kind of fear the gripped me didn't even let me share my thoughts in the comment section of any post let alone start sharing things unprovoked as a post. I am happy for those who have discovered their true paths in life and not just doing anything because it is the new buzz or way to make money. I just wish a lot more people would be honest, truly honest with living their lives and what they are meant to be doing.

 

It took me a while but I've learned to always trust my instincts, and it is not about being right but about feeling right even when I'm not right, I will certainly have 2 or more lessons to learn and apply to myself which makes my future Intuitions even more fitting.

 

I have no idea if it’s a good thing or not, but I live in a bubble, a self-sufficient bubble that has everything I need to thrive in life and as such I am detached from a lot of reality and even when I face any of the realities that I have detached myself from, I tend to handle it very well because I don't consider them as a constant occurrence in my life, in order words, there's no point reacting as though it will happen again soon.

 

I am not one of those people who say they're hard on themselves. Yes, I am my biggest critic but I am never hard on myself, if anything, I give myself more grace than anyone would ever give me, whenever I fall, I will be the first to get up and dust myself even before anyone else finds out I fell. I try to be more disciplined so there will be a balance between giving myself enough grace to function without self-doubt or hate and doing what I'm meant to do with little missteps here and there.

 

I can be brutally honest with myself when assessing myself, I would never sugarcoat anything when I am assessing myself, because I see it as an opportunity to grade myself and I will not know how to move forward and do things right if I try to pamper myself and lie to myself.

 

For a while now, I've tried my best to know what my strengths are, I think my strengths change depending on the situation but I've also tried to know the ones that have remained constant and I try to pride myself in them and they are;

 

1) I apologize genuinely (if I don't mean it, I will not apologize) and in most cases don't repeat what I apologize for

2) I try my best to be truthful as much and as often as I can because my word is my bond

3) I find it easier to reciprocate positive vibes than negative vibes, I simply distant myself from anything negative.

4) People trust me easily.

 

I want to listen more, to advice, to instructions, to observations, and to myself. I want to be able to know when to listen to myself and when to observe so that I can function and be better. 




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