CALLING THE SHOTS

 

Hi, I’m Sam,

Each decision we make, no matter how serious or irrelevant we may think it is ultimately impacts the course of our lives. I like to think that we're our choices irrespective of the reason behind the decisions. Sometimes we make certain choices without thinking and that is a result of a history of making similar choices. The direction of our lives is altered or improved by our choices in various areas of our lives, so have it at the back of your mind that every decision matters big time.

 

Mornings are usually vibrant, with so many different choices, no matter how insignificant or major they may be. There's always a fresh feeling attached to mornings, like an opportunity to make things fresh and new. So many choices are attached to mornings, whether to have a slow or rushed morning, and each decision is like planting a seed for how the day will go. Some people have decided not to ever joke with their morning decisions.

 

I think it's both liberating and overwhelming knowing that we have to make so many choices. Liberating in the sense that we kind of have the power to curate and plan our lives and overwhelming in the sense that the power is in our hands to make it colorful and impactful. Too many options often lead to indecision, confusion sets in because on the one hand, you're excited because of the idea of endless possibilities and on the other hand you do not know what to select in a sea of similar choices. The fear of always making the perfect choice creeps in slowly and the pressure builds up that it is easy to become close friends with anxiety.

 

In a case of break up from a relationship, more especially a relationship that lasted for quite some time, you have to intentionally make choices with different things in mind. While in the relationship, the choices always had to intertwine with those of your partner, you put them into consideration before deciding to do or not do something, and most times you pick up habits that on your own would have not even happened. And when that relationship ends, you have to somehow make choices that is different from the ones you've been making in the past months or years. Making choices to unlearn relationship habits doesn't necessarily mean rejecting what happened but letting go and setting a new direction for yourself which will either lead to good things or terrible things. This is why most relationship advice always focuses on not changing yourself because of a relationship because when it ends or even if it doesn't end you don't want to feel like a completely different person. You only make choices in a relationship to accommodate your partner not to change yourself completely. The journey to a new pattern and habits won't be easy but you have to give yourself grace when you fall back to familiar patterns and steering yourself back and making choices for your new reality honors you in the end.

 

Making choices from a lot of options may seem overwhelming and you feel powerless in that moment but not making a choice is also making a choice. The fear of the unknown contributes to this feeling. It is easy to make decisions when you're equipped with information but that is not the case when going through life, most times we just have to make choices praying and hoping that the choices you've made will align properly with whatever outcome we've imagined in our minds. Dwelling in that powerlessness is not fun either, equipped with information or not, you have to call the shot and our decisions also affect the decisions people around us make and that is the mysterious thing about getting bound by the choices someone else makes. There are people in our lives that we cannot avoid the choices they make, people like family, close friends, partners, etc. Family choices obviously affect us the most because family in most cases forms the core of our being. We learn from family before anyone else and as such, we'll always be bound by those choices. Being impacted by someone else’s choices can be challenging, but with reflection, self-awareness, and sometimes hard conversations, you can begin to shape a path forward that feels more true to who you are and what you want.

 

One real thing is that no matter the choices you make in life, there will always be an outcome, good or bad and as such, always call the shots true to you, choices you can always defend and get behind. You will miss it ones ones but whatever the case might be, give yourself grace and have compassion on yourself to continue aligning yourself to your desired outcome.

 

 "Damned if you do, damned if you don't"