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THE FIRST

 


Hi, I’m Sam

 

I am not the first, do I even want to be the first? I don't think I have given the idea of being the first an actual thought, it is always an in-passing thing for me. It feels good to be the first but I don't think being the first is what motivates me to keep doing anything. Should it even be enough motivation to do anything? That should be the correct question. I believe it can be one of the reasons to keep at something but if it’s the only or major reason, the motivation cannot be sustained.

 

 I am the last baby in the house, so I am very much used to learning from people ahead of me. I still make my own mistakes but I try as much as possible not to repeat any mistake someone close and older than me made, that would be dumb actually. I have always thought that being surrounded by older people would shield me from making mistakes, but that would have been likely if there was always one wrong way to do something or one right way to do things. I was heavy on so long as I'm not doing it as someone else did it, then I won't make mistakes but I learnt that the hard way. I never really gave a thought to what exactly made the other person's method wrong, I just tried to completely avoid how they did it. Being the baby of the house also gave me a head start on a lot of things, which has always made me not see the beauty in being the first, anytime someone mentions anything or tries to make me be the first to do anything, I immediately only think of what could go wrong as opposed to what could go right.

 

 I remember when I was really young, early and mid-2000s, anyone who grew up during that era, Christian or not was very much aware of the gospel songs during that era and how almost every home had a disc. I always wanted to be one of the dancers in the video. I was so interested in it that I would learn the choreography and try to recreate the costumes. I just knew I wanted to be that type of dancer when I was older. Honestly speaking, I had no idea as to any other kind of dancing, because my mum had banned me from learning how to break dance, so I thought since she bought these gospel songs, I don't think she would mind me learning the dance. And for as long as I could remember then, that was what I wanted to do and I also didn't give a lot of thought to that career path. I didn't have any idea about how much they made but I thought they made enough for them to do it so happily. I also didn't know if that was the only thing they had going for them as a full-time career or something they did just for fun, all I was concerned with was dancing to gospel songs, in front of the camera on a well-manicured lawn.

 

What motivates you to be the first? This is what I try to ask myself as often as I can, and I cannot find one thing to point to for motivation to be the first. I am more concerned with doing what I love, being consistent and disciplined at everything I do, and being better at them. I know that there are people who do want to be the first person to do something and I don't think that's a bad thing. They may have looked around and seen a vacant space with something they love or something they're good at which hasn't yielded a lot which can make them the first at something. Years back I think it would've been easy to be the first at a lot of things because of how unsaturated a lot of things were but these days, it seems as though you cannot want to be the first without the idea of being over-ambitious because a lot of things have been done and you need to get very high to be considered the first to do something now unless you're doing something completely new and different.

 

 

I've always been a confident student, I wasn't among the top kids, but I wasn't bad either. My result was always beautiful and I always scale through easily. I got into a Unity college for my senior secondary education. Unity colleges are known for academic competition but for some reason, I approached learning there with my nonchalant approach towards school and I paid for that. So the school had this thing where after the first assessment tests, they would announce the first 5 and last 5 students from each class and they would come out in front of the whole school. They will clap and encourage the first five students and try to use shame as a tool to probably encourage the last 5 students with hopes they will do better in the next assessment test. Unfortunately for me, I didn't do well in my very first assessment test and was called among the last 5 students in my class. I was shocked when I heard my name because I did not in any way expect to be called, I've not always been the best student in class but I knew I shouldn't be part of the last students either. I refused to step out in front of the whole assembly because I wouldn't be shamed into doing better in school.

 

Long story short, during the next assessment test, I did very well and was the second best in my class I walked out in front of the assembly with my shoulders high and didn't fall back again.

 

 I know I don't go out to do things because I want to be the first to achieve them, but I know that with the right motivation and dedication, it is definitely a feat I'm going to achieve and it will feel very good and rewarding to know that my hard work paid off. 




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