Hi, I'm Sam,
I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know exactly how you feel when you have any sort of interaction with certain people in your life. There are people in our lives that we actually do not have much of a choice when it comes to interacting with them and all we can really do is to reduce how often we interact with them and there are exhausting people who we do not really need to interact with but for some reason we will interact with them, complain about the interaction, do nothing about cutting them off or removing ourselves from it, rinse repeat. It's possible that we took so much time trying to figure our exactly how we feel about the interaction but we have decided not to see it for exactly what it is because after the identification comes the thought to carry out an action if you eventually decide on what action to take in any of the scenarios.
Certain emotional situations require more strength than we would ever give them credit for. Most times we know exactly what we need to do in a particular situation but we spend more time asking for advice to either buttress or counter our thoughts than taking actions. Granted, in my case, I try to imagine different scenarios like my life is playing out a fantasy show that I enjoy but alas, this is my reality and whether or not I like it, I have to either suffer quietly or make some changes no matter how hard it may seem. It's easy to bitch about a situation especially when you have people who love you and would give you a listening ear. It takes a level of self reflection to pity those people because as much as they may not openly say it, you are bothering them and I'm sure they don't mean it from a terrible place but from a place that you've spoken about an issue, they know that you know exactly what to do, to either get out of that situation or make it better but they still go ahead to tell you what to do either directly or as an advice but you still decide to do what's in your heart which is basically to do nothing but come to whine about the situation to their ears. Yes the will to leave is not always there but that is the reason we have support systems. Your active and genuine support system know that these things can be a difficult thing to do alone, that is why they make a point with their words and actions to remind you that you're in fact not alone and that you have them in your corner to help you get through that terrible place which you do not like and that they also do not like for you.
I don't pride myself as someone who gives advice let alone good one but I do and I also do not give unsolicited advice so when I eventually do, I hope you think about it critically because I am not telling you what to do, so I will need you to think critically to form your own opinion maybe factoring my points in because my "advice" comes in the form of pros and cons and I will gladly list what falls on which side so that the task will still be on you to think and make choice for yourself so that you don't only not have someone else to blame or praise for the outcome but to feel and know you have control and give yourself more credit to rely on yourself to drag yourself to the better side with the help of others and not solely because of others.
When you identify that certain people are not very good for you, it feels lighter to give them the benefit of doubt to change while you suffer their terrible ways than to take action. It takes a certain level of self love and value to take instant action but no one gets to that level without having gone through so much emotional torture and various versions of scenarios where you make excuses and expect different outcomes but got the same outcome and the only different thing in this situations is how long you were able to endure it. And you knowingly or unknowingly pat yourself on the back because you endure so much bullshit from people all because you think it makes you strong or an ally but the truth remains that taking yourself out of a situation that belittles and stresses you will always be the right thing to do and because people can only see and carry you the way you see and carry yourself, the self love and value you have placed on yourself becomes the template others will use for you.
