Hi, I'm Sam,
We have been conditioned to think from a Me perspective and that can really be the only way because we think from what we know when it's about us. We can only make assumptions when it's about someone else because even if they tell us, it might not be true and when it is true it might not be the whole truth and when it's the whole truth it might not make sense because in so many scenarios, their lived experiences makes the whole truth make sense which means that the fact we haven't lived their experiences, it does make sense that their whole truth doesn't make sense to anyone who is not them. The world has a way of toughening everyone up because no matter what we're going through, everything keeps moving at their individual pace. It's easy to think that because you're going through a lot, others aren't but you seem to forget that everyone just gets good as masking their reality just the same way you are. Because you can't see someone else's problem by their appearance to assume they're OK is the very same way someone else assumes you're having the best time because they can't see yours
The fact that everyone is always going through something seems to be the normality in society. Everyone tries to handle they're problems the best way they see fit. Some get help from family, friends, neighbors and even strangers and still feel overwhelmed and some do it alone not because they want to but because that's the only option they have.
Time is one thing that runs out everyday but we somehow neglect that because it refreshes just as fast as it ends. We treat time like we have so much of it which makes us put so much of the weight we could've spread out on the dying minute. We want to squeeze decades of love expression into last days, week, hours even minutes. Trying to put into words actions we should've taken and summarize all the emotions that has been running through our veins for years. Because of the time constraints, the words we say in the dying minute starts to feel weighty compared to the words we said after having a good laugh with our favorite person over the silliest thing that just happened. The "I love you" said as the time is running out somehow sounds more genuine than the one said before ending a call for the umpteenth time in a day. The idea that we may not get a do over makes everything seem fickle and puts into perspective things that have always mattered but we just chose to move along and neglect those things because we thought more opportunities will come up to do them.
Allow me to paraphrase a quote that said "if we all put all our problems into a basket, everyone would rush to pick their problems back up". That's just means that it's possible and we are allowed to think that our problems are the most intense and gut wrenching until someone else tells you a little bit of what they're through. If you're truly an emphatic person, you'd find out how easy it is to forget your issues just to understand and make someone else feel good. This is not saying that we should go around forgetting our problems just by focusing on other people's problem but a way to remind myself that my problem is only as weighty and as big as I make it seem. Most times the things we freak out over are so insignificant that in hindsight we feel disgusted as to how overwhelmed we felt toward something so little. This is the main reason I always take a step back when it feels like things are falling apart. I don't take a step back to overthink the issue or take a step back to ignore what is happening. I take a step back to change my focus and most times it seems as though when the focus changes, solutions begin to feel close. I am able to see clearly when I'm not trying to magnify what isn't huge because the truth is that we can only use a magnifying glass for things that are tiny. So if I feel the need to magnify a problem, it really just tells me how little it is.
Abnormal is the new normal and that is OK because we've all accepted that change is the only constant and for things to change, it means they won't take the same shape or process any longer which ultimately means they won't be like they used to be. The only terrifying thing with change is when the outcome is not known and in the human fault, we begin to imagine the worst case scenario as opposed to the best case. We say this lightly but it's really deep, "nothing grows in their comfort zone" and when it seems like life's temperature is getting a little bit uncomfortable, take it as a signal to take a step in the right direction. Everything not being normal is not always for the downfall, it just means that things are about to change and you can play a role on how the outcome will be and with that power you can get brave and conquer.
