A LIKKLE FEAR

Hi, I'm Sam, 

There’s an amount of fear that can cripple you and there’s an amount that can motivate you beyond anything a motivational speaker can say to you. I’ve never wondered what level motivates me but I can tell you that I’ve been motivated so many times in my life by a certain level of fear. I’ve never considered testing its elasticity because frankly it doesn’t matter but I’ve experienced launching into the deep with a certain unmeasured level of fear. I’ve gone through things that might break the next person and I’m sure people have gone through things that I cannot begin to imagine how they got through it but that’s not in anyway in the scope of things I consider possible. That I let a certain level of fear motivate me do certain things does not mean that I go out in search of fear or that it is the only way I get motivated but I like to think that we can’t live in this world and not be motivated by fear.

The idea of balance comes to play here, where I feel the need to do something because of the fear in it and at same time feel nonchalant in a way that translates to not be a do-or-die affair because I know that whichever way it goes, I still have so much work to do, either to make it keep getting better or to make it work in the first place. Some might say that it’s real because of the fear. Fear makes some people feel alive and to them that's how they love and know to live which is why it’s not crazy when I see people who constantly seek for an adrenaline rush in the scary things. For some, fear brings everything to the forefront and keeps it there till they’re done with whatever it is they need to do. The fear helps them stay focused and reminds them why they’re pursuing or doing what they’re doing. The fear keeps them on their toes to always stay focused and aligned with the plans.

I’ve heard people say that one of their biggest fears is fear of failure. Either loosing what they’ve built or not seeing the fruit of their hard work but the thing which will always be true to me is whatever fear is legit but the fear is irrelevant, the only relevant thing is what I do with the fear. Did I use it to take amazing strides or did it make me champion myself in the questions of I wish I did that or everything could’ve been better if i did this or that. There’s always a step to take in the right or wrong direction with the presence of fear, often times there’s really no right or wrong reaction because whatever I get to do in that moment is what I’ll probably do in every scenario because the decision comes from what I know and lived experiences and whatever decision I eventually make adds to me either to learn a few lessons to rise from the ashes or lessons to bask in a step well taken.

I face a certain level of uncertainty in a lot of things that I get to do. Sometimes I query myself if my fear is coming from my inability to do something. While that may be true to a degree, a lot of the fear comes from not breaking things down and thinking about the worst case scenario. I never allow myself to take a deep breath, think things and my action plans through and as a result I mostly opt out of doing so many things that I should’ve done. I’ve learnt to always remain myself and as much as mediocrity is not celebrated, no one just stumbles into excellence. They learn, practice and grow and give themselves grace and room to fail with the ultimate plan being that good or bad, they will always rise above the last thing done.