Hi, I'm Sam,
To some high degree, everyone appreciates words of affirmation as a love language. It’s easy to neglect that love language when you see the other ones on the list but for me, as someone who loves to write and read, I have a level of appreciation for genuine love that I want to hear them from someone I consider to be a good person and a wonderful addition. I also agree that certain people are not good with words but I also stand to argue that words of affirmation is not only about how many times you say what you say but the quality and genuineness of whatever it is that is being said. Simply hearing I love you for the first time or for the first few times might feel amazing and sound as a morning alarm to the butterflies in your belly but for how long will anyone keep digesting the same phrase of “I love you”. You have to find other ways to say I love you so that when you use the exact words of I love you it doesn’t sound watered down and overused. So even for people who say they are terrible with words, when you find someone who loves you and makes you feel loved, you’ll definitely have the right words to say to the person and it may not be the popular words others have used to express themselves but words that the other person will hear and know that they’re not invincible, but seen, heard, loved and appreciated.
I say I love communication and communication can take various forms but I want to always hear or read it which means that body language no matter how visible or expressive it might be will always go unnoticed by me. When I think of other forms of communication outside of words said or written, it makes me feel like I’m guessing and jumping into conclusion because I cannot confidently say that is what you mean without the need for confirmation from you. I could be correct in my interpretation of that but until there’s confirmation from you, I feel like there’s a sizable percentage that I might be wrong in my interpretation and as such, words not said or written to me remain invalid. If I want to guess answers then I might as well enroll in an exam I’m not prepared for, an exercise which is ultimately going to be riddled which premium anxiety.
People find it funny when I say “use your words” and I laugh as well when they laugh about it but I still insist because I cannot fault or celebrate you by what I think you mean but by what I heard you say or read by you. This is not to say that I don’t take cues by what I observe and notice but when it comes to the important things, they should be spelt out which is why the exchange of vows during a marriage ceremony is considered sanctimonious. From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks and in some cases some people have mastered the act of saying quite the opposite of what they think but that’s something they can only keep up for a period of time.
They say action speaks louder than words but I still want the hear the words underneath or right beside the action. I will use my words to say thank you to actions done for me. I don’t rehearse what to say, I believe that putting my feelings into words and saying them as they come to me makes a huge difference. It feels genuine because I didn’t try to go through a checklist before I decided that my words should be heard. I felt the feeling and it felt right that someone it concerns should hear it no matter how unfinished it might it. It’s in its unfinished state that it will strike the right cord and send the desired message. Words can lose their intended meaning with constant refinement and adjustments, feelings can be lost if I try to take my time to reshape and reconstruct my words. The words will only hold meaning when I say it the way I feel and when I feel is the right time and it’s not going on a scoreboard to decide who has said the most, if anything, it’s going to prompt everyone around you to always take the leap of faith in the sense of while doing every other thing to make someone else feel special, there’s also an acknowledgement that words can help every other thing fit and be a nicely wrapped bow on top of everything.
