Skip to main content

TO WHAT EXTENT?

 


Hi, I’m Sam,

 

We count it all joy and a blessing when we wake up each morning, and each morning comes with the absolute undiluted feeling of a new beginning, a fresh and can-do spirit. As the days continue, knowingly or unknowingly we are open to creating and maintaining relationships with people in different areas of our lives; it may be our neighbors, a familiar taxi man, an attendant or owner of the store we frequent, our colleagues, the roadside seller who tries to convince us to buy what we clearly do not need, our relatives, etc. The chances of increasing the closeness or distance we might have with any of these people increases with each day we come in contact with them and as such we unknowingly decide what extent we can go for them. We can be having a not-so-good morning and still choose to politely decline to buy what we clearly do not need no matter how persuasive the seller might be, we just unconsciously decide what extent to go not to ruin the relationship no matter how distant it might be because we've been interacting with this person for a while.

 

In some relationships, we make a conscious decision to maintain them and some remain maintained by not even trying for example how a first daughter or first son can make sacrifices for their younger siblings or even their parents. Sometimes I ask myself, to what extent can I go to keep a particular relationship and most times I find it difficult to answer the question because I just act. If I'm able to put a limit or a price on a particular relationship, then I don't feel like I genuinely want to be in that specific relationship. Just like everyone else in the world, I have surface relationships with some people and I don't treat those people too differently from the way I treat those I keep very close; I treat everyone with the same sincerity, and the only difference comes down to the level of information you have about me and obviously how far I can go to make you happy. We make some people happy only when it’s convenient for us and for some we make it a point to make sure they are always happy and well taken care of.

 

 

When it comes to creating and adjusting my boundaries I find it very difficult to do it, it’s always different with different persons and there's usually no specified duration as to how frequently the boundaries keep adjusting. When it comes to reducing access someone may have to me, I find it very difficult because I feel as though I'm disappointing the person especially when I have done a terrible job at communicating my displeasure because I keep telling myself that maybe this person would've acted differently if I had said something but I've also noticed that there are people who I just expect to act a certain way and when they don't I feel that no matter what I say, they will still do whatever they want.

 

"Familiarity breeds contempt" and in Naija terms, it can simply translate to "See finish" but on the contrary, I feel like there's really no way to avoid see finish with people who we keep very close, one way or the other they're going to see us in every form and appearance, where the issue lies now is what they do after they've seen every aspect of us. If they're genuine, the familiarity should not breed contempt, if anything it should contribute to what makes the friendship structure stand tall and solid, as much as new persons will definitely come into our lives, we need to find a way to hold on to those who have been around for a long time and those who have become part of our lives essence, so long as they're not moving mad, the longer someone stays in our lives the longer they also prove and deserve deep love and reciprocation from our part.

 

Cherish and value everyone you come in contact with and always have at the back of your mind, what extent you can go to prove to people how special they are to you. It’s sometimes not enough to say to yourself "Of course they know how much they mean to me", your actions help buttress that point, and making someone feel special is something everyone should want to do.



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

GREEN SUNSET (Aurora Borealis Green)

Hi, I'm Sam,  Some may argue that the expectation of something makes the emotions less intense, which is probably the reason why so many people will admit that they love surprises, because they have no other choice but to react in the most genuine way possible for them. It is a fact and I know that the sun sets every single day in my region, at this point it is something I expect to happen but I don't look out for it, I only take note when it delays or probably doesn't happen which I have never experienced. Because I expect it to happen, I'm no longer fascinated by it. One of the hills I will gladly die on is that, there's no right or wrong way to grieve. There's no manual to it, you only react to the exact way you feel and depending on your emotional strength, you can suppress some emotions and control your actions. In several cases, no one plans for death, so all you have to do is react to it. You don't get to pick when and who it happens to, so you'r...
Post a Comment
Read more

I LOVED TO BE CHOSEN

Hi, I'm Sam,  The wonderful thing about connection is that its not premeditated, you don't plan out how to get connected to someone. You can play by your rules and do things a certain way to create connections with someone and the truth is that if the connection is there, you'll know and when it's not there, there's absolutely nothing you can do to get it. Another thing can be that you're looking for the connection from the wrong angle. Its ok to have the desire to connect with someone from one angle, but when that angle doesn't work, you can either try another angle or let it go completely. Before I was chosen, someone looked at me and assessed me based on a list of requirements or was fascinated by what made me unique. Something that wasn't easily identified in someone else as it is identified in me made me stand out and something that otherwise made someone else unattractive, made me attractive in a way I probably wouldn't be able to ...
Post a Comment
Read more

DID YOU HAVE FUN?

Hi, I'm Sam,  I don't announce it every 3 business days but I'm a Homebody. This was something I found particularly hard to accept because I was the liveliest kid in my family and everyone just concluded I was an extrovert. I changed when I was about 15 or 16 and by 18 my sister concluded that I was either depressed or battling with inferiority complex and I thought about it for a few days and immediately accepted that as the logical explanation to what was happening to me. I accepted that logic because I really loved how lively and outgoing I was growing up and I desperately wanted to go back to that, so if I know the problem, maybe I can find a solution and get my old self back. One of the most annoying things with people pointing out something about you is that when they do, whether they're just being plain mean or critiquing objectively, most times, you're bound to see what they're saying and then the battle within starts. The battle where you t...
Post a Comment
Read more