Hi, I'm Sam,
It is very possible to live life knowing that nobody thinks of me as much as I think about myself. I am living my life and as such I have to be more concerned about me than anyone else, with this realization, I am able to extend grace to others when I don't feel so much like a priority to them, because they are living their lives as well and they should be more concerned about themselves. Everyone is the main character in their story and have to have that main character energy one way or the other in some areas of their lives if not all. I light up whenever someone takes out time to reach out to me to find out how I am doing. Immediately I see the text or the call, I instantly forget the last time we spoke or was in contact with this person, what matters the most to me in that moment is not make the connection genuine and deep so much that with few sentences or seconds on the phone we are able to fill whatever gap we think was existing from the last time we connected. My intention to make that connection deep and genuine is never lost on the other person, some first start with apologies for not reaching out sooner or try to tell me about the times they thought to reach out but forgot but as soon as they hear or feel my excitement in that moment, they find out that what matters is that the connection is there now so there's really no point trying to stain the present with what didn't happen or what could've or should've been, let's works together to give ourselves reasons to miss us or always want to to catch up.
Everyone is not always fine, with my new ways of trying to reach out whenever I remember, when I ask "How are you" or "How is everyone" or "How is everything" it now seems like the default and compulsory response is "I'm fine", "we are fine" or "everything is ok" even when that isn't the case. I always ask the question genuinely and I always expect a genuine response and when I get the default answer, I'm inclined to take it as genuine because I don't wish anyone bad so I shouldn't always expect the negative to be the genuine answer but even with the positive answer, that might not be the case. The positive answer could be as a result of positive confession or the person is just not ready to share anything wrong with me for whatever reason and I can either respect that and ask further questions if by any other chance I get more information that isn't in alignment with what I got previously. Its easy to take my not-to-pry approach as do-not-care energy but I do care and always try in my own weird way to let that known while giving the space to let you tell me what you can, when you are comfortable doing so.
I struggle to find word placements for the moment I find out that someone who has been up beat and high spirited has been in intense spiritual and physically challenging situations. Situations where I cannot completely imagine how exhausted they feel on some days, knowing that they've been living through days that tears rolling down does not make the situation feel any lighter for them, days when they can only try to remember the good days and while going through these things constantly pray for better days to come quickly but everyday still feels dragged like its on a snail race. I remove myself when I find out these things, I don't try to wonder why this person didn't tell me any sooner or tell me when they were going through these things. I don't wonder what and what I would've done to help. I am more concerned with making them feel seen, acknowledging the moment and making sure they feel heard, loved and supported. Some people go through things and they're unable to talk about it while in the tunnel, they may not want to talk in the tunnel so the echo doesn't come resounding, because it feels like they're going through one situation twice when they're talking about it. They want to fight through it with whatever support they have in the moment and they can only pray for more support and when they're out of the tunnel, when they share the situation it doesn't echo and have the sound ringing around them. They want to share their story from victory, they want to speak about it in past tense and not in the present continuous. They're able to build back their strength and courage brick by brick when they speak in past tense and I can only listen, pray for them and rejoice with them and if they still do not feel like going into details even after conquering, I still pray and support in my own little, genuine way.
Among so many things in this world, i want to be a safe space for myself and anyone around me, I wish that people would not find the feeling of relief foreign when they're around me. I want people to know that I have a shoulder if you need one, ears if you want that and mouth if you wish to hear from me.
Everyone is not always fine, with my new ways of trying to reach out whenever I remember, when I ask "How are you" or "How is everyone" or "How is everything" it now seems like the default and compulsory response is "I'm fine", "we are fine" or "everything is ok" even when that isn't the case. I always ask the question genuinely and I always expect a genuine response and when I get the default answer, I'm inclined to take it as genuine because I don't wish anyone bad so I shouldn't always expect the negative to be the genuine answer but even with the positive answer, that might not be the case. The positive answer could be as a result of positive confession or the person is just not ready to share anything wrong with me for whatever reason and I can either respect that and ask further questions if by any other chance I get more information that isn't in alignment with what I got previously. Its easy to take my not-to-pry approach as do-not-care energy but I do care and always try in my own weird way to let that known while giving the space to let you tell me what you can, when you are comfortable doing so.
I struggle to find word placements for the moment I find out that someone who has been up beat and high spirited has been in intense spiritual and physically challenging situations. Situations where I cannot completely imagine how exhausted they feel on some days, knowing that they've been living through days that tears rolling down does not make the situation feel any lighter for them, days when they can only try to remember the good days and while going through these things constantly pray for better days to come quickly but everyday still feels dragged like its on a snail race. I remove myself when I find out these things, I don't try to wonder why this person didn't tell me any sooner or tell me when they were going through these things. I don't wonder what and what I would've done to help. I am more concerned with making them feel seen, acknowledging the moment and making sure they feel heard, loved and supported. Some people go through things and they're unable to talk about it while in the tunnel, they may not want to talk in the tunnel so the echo doesn't come resounding, because it feels like they're going through one situation twice when they're talking about it. They want to fight through it with whatever support they have in the moment and they can only pray for more support and when they're out of the tunnel, when they share the situation it doesn't echo and have the sound ringing around them. They want to share their story from victory, they want to speak about it in past tense and not in the present continuous. They're able to build back their strength and courage brick by brick when they speak in past tense and I can only listen, pray for them and rejoice with them and if they still do not feel like going into details even after conquering, I still pray and support in my own little, genuine way.
Among so many things in this world, i want to be a safe space for myself and anyone around me, I wish that people would not find the feeling of relief foreign when they're around me. I want people to know that I have a shoulder if you need one, ears if you want that and mouth if you wish to hear from me.
