Hi, I'm Sam,
One of my most celebrated skill by everyone around me is being a very good driver. I thought the joy I experienced when I started driving was going to be short lived but over 10 years later, I still get excited whenever I have to drive. My joy and pride in driving has made me the designated driver even when alcohol is not involved. People just get comfortable letting me drive because they get to completely relax and not try to step on the imaginary brake and turn the steering a little bit from the passenger's seat. I am very proud to say that I taught my two sisters how to drive and they can both attest to the fact that I not just a very good driver but also a very good teacher in that aspect. When I started teaching my immediate elder sister how to drive, I realized how much of a challenge it can be to learn something new. I encouraged her everyday but what she didn't know was I was equally challenging and encouraging myself because I started to learn something which scared me. Something I've always felt powerless to and didn't think I could learn no matter how much I tried and dedicated time to. The first thing I thought her was to brake, because I made her realize that is the only way for her to regain control of the car and that could apply in a real life situation, in any situation, whether chaotic, confusing, thrilling or scary situation, all I need to do to get back control is to stop, be calm and reevaluate my option to determine what to do next.
She was a very good student and she learnt really fast but because the duration she used to learn to drive didn't completely align with the time I needed to learn my own thing, I felt the need to rush my process. In the process of rushing, I was constantly feeling frustrated and thinking about it now, I realize how insane it was to put both things that are completely different into the same learning frame. The fact that they were both different things and that we are different individuals learning different things should've been the first indication that they could never have the same learning timeline but somehow I couldn't see it. Despite the delay in my area of learning, I still somehow kept learning and finally decided to reduce my pace and give myself time to learn bit by bit even when I felt like I wasn't learning anything new.
The things we were both learning were different but I still picked a few things that helped me on my learning journey. I remember when I made my sister just do U turns, we would come out 6am every morning and from 6am to 8 am I would make her do U turns uncountable times and as much as she felt miserable doing that, she somehow trusted in my process. I didn't have a manual or any laid out plans on how to completely teach her, I was just going by her learning speed and capabilities. I monitored the pace at which she learnt, made mistakes and corrected herself to know when to move on to the next stage. My goal with the method was to help her build her confidence without my input because the ultimate goal was for her to be completely in charge and in control in whatever car she was driving and not just drive because another licensed driver was sitting next to her to tell her everything she needed to do.
On my side of learning, whenever I would feel like I wasn't learning anything new or feel like I'm making the same mistakes over and over again and miserable about what I was doing, I immediately remember how I made my sister make uncountable number of U turns and how that helped her get better at learning a skill that scared her and I settle down to make my own U turns. One thing I really really struggled to let go of was that Corrections meant that I am not and probably won't be good enough. I always kept corrections and failing on the same level and subconsciously thought of them as synonyms because whenever I'd receive a correction or suggestion for a task I was assigned, I'd immediately interpret it to mean that I completely failed and do not know what i am doing and that mentality really delayed me from mastering so many things because I would get worse with every correction I get and it didn't really matter how the correction was delivered, I still somehow translated it to mean that I wasn't good enough and should better let go of whatever I was trying to do. It took practical unlearning and scenarios to make me let go of the correction = failure mentality. I started getting better at receiving corrections and implementing given correction to yield better outcome and I can completely attest that better result gotten from correction is a pretty good feeling.
When i decided that my sister was ready to start driving on the road, I didn't make the decision on my own and based on my teaching abilities, as a matter of fact when i started to teach her, i recognized that i was simply trying to transfer what i knew how to do very well to her and i also realized that she is different from my other sister and the techniques that worked for my other sister might not work for her, so i had to pay attention to her and work with whatever she gives me and not what i think she should give me at a particular stage in the process. I had to work with her comfort level and mine because my life was literally in hands with her behind the wheels. For some people the idea that the life was in her hands can make them even more nervous to attempt it and for some it will be a welcomed challenge to be careful and pay complete attention to get it right. No matter what area I fall under, one thing I've learnt is to try, because I can only get better when I try, make mistakes and also learn. No matter the situation, there is always room to make mistakes and learn.
She was a very good student and she learnt really fast but because the duration she used to learn to drive didn't completely align with the time I needed to learn my own thing, I felt the need to rush my process. In the process of rushing, I was constantly feeling frustrated and thinking about it now, I realize how insane it was to put both things that are completely different into the same learning frame. The fact that they were both different things and that we are different individuals learning different things should've been the first indication that they could never have the same learning timeline but somehow I couldn't see it. Despite the delay in my area of learning, I still somehow kept learning and finally decided to reduce my pace and give myself time to learn bit by bit even when I felt like I wasn't learning anything new.
The things we were both learning were different but I still picked a few things that helped me on my learning journey. I remember when I made my sister just do U turns, we would come out 6am every morning and from 6am to 8 am I would make her do U turns uncountable times and as much as she felt miserable doing that, she somehow trusted in my process. I didn't have a manual or any laid out plans on how to completely teach her, I was just going by her learning speed and capabilities. I monitored the pace at which she learnt, made mistakes and corrected herself to know when to move on to the next stage. My goal with the method was to help her build her confidence without my input because the ultimate goal was for her to be completely in charge and in control in whatever car she was driving and not just drive because another licensed driver was sitting next to her to tell her everything she needed to do.
On my side of learning, whenever I would feel like I wasn't learning anything new or feel like I'm making the same mistakes over and over again and miserable about what I was doing, I immediately remember how I made my sister make uncountable number of U turns and how that helped her get better at learning a skill that scared her and I settle down to make my own U turns. One thing I really really struggled to let go of was that Corrections meant that I am not and probably won't be good enough. I always kept corrections and failing on the same level and subconsciously thought of them as synonyms because whenever I'd receive a correction or suggestion for a task I was assigned, I'd immediately interpret it to mean that I completely failed and do not know what i am doing and that mentality really delayed me from mastering so many things because I would get worse with every correction I get and it didn't really matter how the correction was delivered, I still somehow translated it to mean that I wasn't good enough and should better let go of whatever I was trying to do. It took practical unlearning and scenarios to make me let go of the correction = failure mentality. I started getting better at receiving corrections and implementing given correction to yield better outcome and I can completely attest that better result gotten from correction is a pretty good feeling.
When i decided that my sister was ready to start driving on the road, I didn't make the decision on my own and based on my teaching abilities, as a matter of fact when i started to teach her, i recognized that i was simply trying to transfer what i knew how to do very well to her and i also realized that she is different from my other sister and the techniques that worked for my other sister might not work for her, so i had to pay attention to her and work with whatever she gives me and not what i think she should give me at a particular stage in the process. I had to work with her comfort level and mine because my life was literally in hands with her behind the wheels. For some people the idea that the life was in her hands can make them even more nervous to attempt it and for some it will be a welcomed challenge to be careful and pay complete attention to get it right. No matter what area I fall under, one thing I've learnt is to try, because I can only get better when I try, make mistakes and also learn. No matter the situation, there is always room to make mistakes and learn.
