THE IP MAG

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I consider it extremely important to remind myself that not everything is about me and no one thinks about me as much as I do. With that in mind, I have to try as much as I can to remove myself from so many scenarios that I think has so much to do with me but actually has nothing to do with me no matter how much I try to convince myself that it does. Thinking that something has a lot to do with me when it doesn't isn't about having a main character syndrome, I believe it comes from trying to be in control and trying to fix what probably isn't broken. If I can make it about me then I can work on the list I have given myself in an attempt to make things better and be better than I think it is in the present. Sometimes I blame this on being someone who absorbs energy. If I think the situation is about me then I can channel my energy into making it better so that I don't sit idle waiting for it to fix itself. But in so many scenarios, I've...

Hi, I'm Sam,   I didn't learn how to take accountability for the right reason. When things go the wrong way as a result of my actions or decisions, I will always be the first to acknowledge that I am the root cause and not the person who had to react to what I did. Someone else might see it as me being the bigger person to realize what had happened and take responsibility and that is completely what it is now but it didn't start of that way. In the beginning of my "accountability", I simply took accountability so that people would just shut up or simply just say nice things to encourage me because I've done the other thing they would've done which was to point out where and where I did wrong to result to the present situation. It will only take someone who has a really hard time reading the room to still try to point out my wrongs while I'm actively blaming myself while trying to take accountability for my actions. If the person can read th...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I took my time to sit down and I tried to figure out the natural state of humans and I honestly think that humility should be our default mode if you consider how often we recycle different things in our lives and I'm not referring to plastics or those kind of recyclables. We recycle feelings, opinions, materials, humans, love, hatred, positions, cars and so on. At every point in our lives, somethings that we will consider new, with all the happiness, appreciation and love has probably been used by someone else and we will place so much value on something or someone another person discarded and wants nothing to do with. And this realization has absolutely nothing to do with how I receive or appreciate anything that's comes to me, it doesn't help me decide how much value to place on it or the sentimental value. I have the absolutely freedom to attach as much or as little as I want to it depending on how I feel about it and not about who had it ...

Hi, I'm Sam,  I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know exactly how you feel when you have any sort of interaction with certain people in your life. There are people in our lives that we actually do not have much of a choice when it comes to interacting with them and all we can really do is to reduce how often we interact with them and there are exhausting people who we do not really need to interact with but for some reason we will interact with them, complain about the interaction, do nothing about cutting them off or removing ourselves from it, rinse repeat. It's possible that we took so much time trying to figure our exactly how we feel about the interaction but we have decided not to see it for exactly what it is because after the identification comes the thought to carry out an action if you eventually decide on what action to take in any of the scenarios.  Certain emotional situations require more strength than we would ever gi...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I know everyone says this "I am my own competition " and everyone really should say it even when they don't believe it, say it as often as you can till you believe it. I wake up everyone morning and strive to make little decisions that will lead to the person and life I aspire to live in the nearest future. Sometimes the future is vivid enough to picture and sometimes I get greedy and try to belittle the imagination by telling myself that whatever it is that I can imagine is not scary enough because they say that our dreams should scare us but no one talks about how the scary dream can feel so far away and out of reach that I start to think that I'm not doing enough because the little things that I'm doing in the moment is no where close to what will help me achieve the scary ambitions. I've conditioned my mind to appreciate the ambitions that I can actually fit into my imaginations but also have it at the back of my mind they ar...

Hi, I'm Sam,  The year was 2021 and the month was January, right after everything that came with 2020 and with everything that happened that year, I like to focus on the fact that I got two Taylor Swift albums and no, it's not my way to downplay how terrible that year was or the irreplaceable loss people experienced but we get to choose what to focus on in any moment in time and I want to focus on that for now. Just like any other company, the company I worked for then made plans for the new year and making plans was one thing and taking action was a different ball game but my company decided that we needed to open a branch in another city which meant that some of us were going to have to move to this new city. I was pleased with this plan because it felt like a fresh start and it was a fresh start and it couldn't have come at a better time with the heaviness of the year before. I somehow convinced myself that things would be better and different because of the ...

Hi, I'm Sam,  I really do think that love has to be the warmest feeling to experience, especially because humans are the most selfish creatures and as such we tend to do things that make us feel good and caters to our likes, wants and needs that when someone decides to put their extremely loved self at a place and not only think of you but back it up with actions that probably has nothing to do with them but so much if not everything to do with you, yeah, that warm feeling is such a good feeling. Naturally, the easiest place to find love is at home, it's like a follow-come necessity that it is naturally expected but it's quite unfortunate that not everyone gets to experience love at home. For me when I think of home, I immediately feel loved, understood and backed up that I don't feel alone.  I asked one of my best friends what jazz I did to have and keep my friends so close and the way they come through for me makes me wonder if I truly deserve it and if I ...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  It's very easy to brag about always trying your best to be in control of so many aspects of life even though so many things will try to remind you that always being in control is not always how things go. So the pride taken when things are indeed under your control is warranted and not at all out of place. I have finally come to understand it when people say " your comfort zone will kill you ". The first time I heard it, I legit thought they were being dramatic and unreasonable but like always, when you get to a point, you realize why people come to certain conclusions to the issues of life. Take me for instance. I believe I've come to that jarring point and I must confess, it's not a good feeling at all. I have done a terrible job at not realizing that I've been in my comfort zone for far too long and I have been labeling my comfort zone with different names instead of acknowledging it for exactly what it is and trying to get m...

Hi, I'm Sam,  One of my most celebrated skill by everyone around me is being a very good driver. I thought the joy I experienced when I started driving was going to be short lived but over 10 years later, I still get excited whenever I have to drive. My joy and pride in driving has made me the designated driver even when alcohol is not involved. People just get comfortable letting me drive because they get to completely relax and not try to step on the imaginary brake and turn the steering a little bit from the passenger's seat. I am very proud to say that I taught my two sisters how to drive and they can both attest to the fact that I not just a very good driver but also a very good teacher in that aspect. When I started teaching my immediate elder sister how to drive, I realized how much of a challenge it can be to learn something new. I encouraged her everyday but what she didn't know was I was equally challenging and encouraging myself because I started to l...

Hi, I'm Sam,  There's an igbo saying, " mgbe onye tere, bụ ụtụtu ya " and it translates to " anytime anyone wakes up, is their morning " and just like so many things I heard when I was younger, this didn't really make any sense to me. It's one of those things they say, " you will understand when you get older" and I can honestly say I understand now that I'm older. As you get older, you don't need anyone to explain to you that life is really all about times and seasons and you live an easier, happier life when you understand that and live by that. When you're younger, it is very easy for you to believe that everything will work out at the same time and pace as your best friend who is of the same age and maybe gender as you. You sit and make plans how you will move from one stage to the next and you never really factor in life happening because really at that age you haven't really experienced what life could pos...

Hi, I'm Sam,   Most days I realize that my life is actually simpler than I would like to admit because I've lived a simple life for so long that I actually do not know how else to live and I don't let myself or my mind wander past where it really needs to. It doesn't go too far for me to now try to justify why I should think about certain things. Some days I pat myself on the back because I live a simple life and some days I wish for more because the simple can easily become boring. When I don't focus on taking credit for my simple life, I realize that I am simply paying attention to my interests and doing the things that truly matter to me no matter how simple and unserious those things may seem. There was a period I tried to live my life based on things I thought I was supposed to pay attention to and I truly regretted that period. Not only did I find myself waking up everyday feeling terrible, I couldn't recognize myself anymore. I struggled to do...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I think at some point in my teenage years, to be cool was my ultimate desire, nothing else really seemed so important to me because they came easily to me but being cool was something I really wanted but somehow struggled with it and didn't know how to be that or even attempt to. I never really had any good reason as to why I wanted to be cool, I just knew that was what I wanted and I needed to get it to experience some sense of accomplishment and feeling of belonging. I couldn't really define what cool was either to me or to someone else but I figured I could pick one person who I thought was undeniably cool and replicated whatever they were doing then somehow I could be considered cool in some ramification. I'm not sure if I ever got to be cool despite my efforts and all but I'm glad the need to be or considered cool left me as fast as it came and as intense as the feeling was, I didn't feel any regret or hurt when it didn't happ...

Hi, I'm Sam,  Sometimes I don't know if I should be happy or sad that I somehow suppress emotions and memories. It's good when there are things I do not wish to remember and I don't have to lie or fight so hard not to remember them but it's sad in the sense that I've not really experienced any deep trauma that would warrant memory suppression but somehow my mind seems to think that no matter how I wish to describe those things as little, it will do me a favor by making sure I do not remember them. While we're here, I might as well blame my inability to remember names or people's faces on my mind choosing to suppress things and make them difficult to be remembered without any concrete memory attached to it.  There are things that I do not remember and when I am forced to remember them in any way, I just wish those things will remain in the past. I do not want them to remain in the past because they're too painful in the past and in the pre...

Hi, I'm Sam,   I will only admit it this one time and never again because I know the story is about to change, I have always had a confusing anxiety towards designs. Any kind of design scares me because I feel it's too much power to have to create something from scratch from your mind and playing around with different tools and elements and decide every little detail about it to the extent that some playfully say, " every mistake in design is a style " which is true in a lot of cases. I've always blamed humility for not wanting to wield that power and people have naturally just expected me to be very good at designs so they either ask for my input in design tasks or just expect me to lead the conversation when it comes to designs. Whenever they come to me, I either give a half-assed response so they don't feel some type of way and also don't bother to come back to me or I send them to someone else because I already do not know what to contribut...

Hi, I'm Sam , They say there is no point crying over spilt milk. It is possible to take the sentence as face value but as a known overthinker, I've always had to dive deep into phrases like that. No matter our age bracket, after getting to the age of being on our own, our lives will be full of choices to make. Some choices birth unimaginable rewards while some come with their fair share of consequences which in turn lead to lessons learnt, but the annoying constant is finding yourself with options to choose from and not choosing any of the options is also making a choice which will probably come with its own consequences. Sometimes I feel like none of the available options will produce anything I think I desire in the moment but what I need and in that moment I just have to deal with the feeling of picking an option with a less terrible outcome.  Its very easy to identify bad judgement when you're not the one making it. When I listen to someone tell me about a s...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  A book starts with an alphabet or a character, drops of water make an ocean, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. These are the few ways I try to remind myself to take is easy on myself that the life I live everyday is made of building blocks of experiences. These experiences have not only been bad or good because I try to have a solid stand on life, I've had to go through the different types, shapes and duration of those experiences. I can trace certain things in the present to things that have happened in the past and things I've had to either learn or unlearn at some point in my little, boring life. Despite the number of times I've heard the phrase "its well" , it still somehow holds so much weight to me that it feels as new and weighty as it did the first time I heard it. And the irony that I often use it when things aren't going well or about to scatter into several pieces makes me chuckle most times. I've ...

Hi, I'm Sam,   One thing I will argue anytime and any day is that the more you do something, the better you get at it whether intentionally or not. Being present willingly or not and participating in doing something will make you better at that thing in no time that it almost becomes part of your muscle memory. When you've spent most of your formative childhood years moving yearly from one place to another, you won't have any other choice than being good at being the NEW KID and you will get so good at adapting to new environments that the anxiety you once had at being in a new environment and trying to make something out of it becomes anxious of you. I had to equip myself with some tricks that made me less upset about moving from one place when I was just starting to get the rhythm of the place. At the beginning,  adapting to a new environment, finding new routines and creating new normals was so daunting that whenever I find out that we have to move, i don...