THE IP MAG

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I've always wondered what angle to think about marriages and weddings. I love it for others but sometimes people say everything changes when you get married and they still say people don't change even when you marry them and this is always in a case of a character flaw, so then what really changes after wedding and in marriage? It's a good thing to love someone so deeply that you'd love to take it a step further but I don't completely subscribe to that mentality because we still witness people go through the long and stressful process of wedding planning just to take a step further with someone they do not completely love and someone they would end up tolerating and stepping out on in the marriage and I'm really curious to know what their thought about that really is because I have tried and maybe the experiences I've come to live or hear of hasn't done a fine job in letting me imagine and explain scenarios that makes sense...

Hi, I'm Sam, Don't get it twisted that love is a beautiful thing. Some feelings are better felt and expressed than described. As complete as the English dictionary might seem, it is possible to lack words to describe some feelings at the initial stage but as some point down the line I begin to use scenarios and examples to describe certain emotions and to me that is way better than using one word which has its meaning etched in the pages of a dictionary.  The biggest trick my mind has consistently played on me is to make me questions every love gesture I receive. I mean it does make sense to question certain gestures and audit it irrespective of who it's coming from but my mind questions the legit and illegitimate ones and then goes a step further to take actions that will jeopardize the legit gestures from legit avenues. At some point the feeling of being unworthy of certain expressions becomes the least of my problems because i find myself constantly fighting...

Hi, I'm Sam, I like to believe that for me life became easy and simple to live after i internalized the harsh truth that certain things will always be an everyday thing. This was a harsh truth because some of these things are not things that could be considered fun. Some of them could be considered fun for a while and then the reality hits that it's just for a while, then the fun starts to dry out little by little. People often misunderstand me when I say that one of my major irks in people is when they complain a lot about things that can be considered their reality for the time being. Some say that it means that I subscribe to the idea that people should suffer in silence but on the contrary, my stance is often that they shouldn't suffer at all or at least try to reduce the suffering in any way they can. For instance, someone in a terrible relationship but refuses to get out of It but constantly makes it everyone's problem by constantly complaining about i...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  It feels so good to know, admit to myself and finally say that I do not feel any bit of urge to keep performing for an audience that is not even paying attention and I would still not perform even if they were. Someone said that everyone is completely aware of what they're doing, they may not be honest about their intentions to others but within themselves they know exactly why they do what they do, they just hope that the other person is not smart enough to figure it out or they hope the other person is not interested in doing anything about it. Just like a talking stage, I really do believe everyone takes records of their interaction with people and they use the record to ultimately decide how to act toward each person. That way they're informed as to what part of themselves they bring to certain people and what parts of themselves they need to strip or hide to properly exist around certain people. This is a skill I think i like, I try to often ...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I was 16 when I started wishing I could drive, before that I was just there to enjoy rides but what I enjoyed the most was the opportunity to be driven without much thought to where we were going to. At some point my dad seriously considered changing my name because he felt like the name had an effect on me. For better clarification, my igbo name is "Chisom" which translates to "God follows me", so my dad was convinced that the name was the reason i wanted to follow everyone everywhere instead of just letting God do the following. To think I really enjoyed being driven around but I didn't like the idea that my movement also meant that someone else had movement, so I thought it was a huge disturbance. Despite the fact the person was doing his job, It still didn't sit right with me that I had to drag someone around and it didn't help that my movement were not very important. The thoughts of driving started to cree...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  Some say you can't shame the shameless, so sometimes I ask myself, are certain people shameless or they have just learned to be unusually honest about themselves and their situation. They don't admit those " shameful " things to be at the center of a pity party but it's their way of just saying what is instead of trying to paint things to not appear as they are. I also do not think that those who refuse to share certain things are being dishonest, I just cannot expect the same things from everybody. The shameless can also be seen as people who overshare and I can see them as people who are honest about their situation but it really depends on who is looking at it and what angle the person is watching from. I struggle to identify a mistake in anything I do with intentions irrespective of what side the intention falls. I know that calling certain things a mistake make a somewhat good defense but I have also tried my best to be honest a...

Hi, I'm Sam,  I think that at some point in life, it easy to identify things that work for you, things you can try out and things you don't even need to bother yourself about figuring out or trying to will it. It is possible that we find out these things very early and what category they fall under but we often times lie to ourselves maybe ignorantly or in a way to try to be adventurous to test and if possible push our limits. When I get an idea of a new thing either by reading it, watching it or even thinking it, I always try to call myself to order by reminding myself that experiences often differ irrespective of how identical I may try to replicate whatever it is. In every replication, there is always a mistake that either leads to a new design or a failed attempt which still further buttresses my point.  8 decades ago, a young Aunty Nneka, a beautiful young lady in some part of igbo land probably didn't have any future plans different from what she was used ...

Hi, I'm Sam,  One of the many ways I know that I truly love someone or group of people is my intense desire to share anything I have no matter the quantity with them. As much as sharing can be considered to be a selfish act, I like to see it as a bonding act because in the moment that you decide to give away some, if not all of what you have in your possession, you're saying a lot to the other person without using your words and you will very much be understood even though some might decide to misunderstand you but deep down they understand your intentions. I don't only show love by sharing physical things, it's deeper when I can share intangible things like my love, emotions, thoughts etc which creates a deeper connection because I am able to transfer something I cannot touch, taking it or duplicating it from within and doing my absolute best to give it to someone else without reducing the potency and to have the other person experience it in full, in addit...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I consider it extremely important to remind myself that not everything is about me and no one thinks about me as much as I do. With that in mind, I have to try as much as I can to remove myself from so many scenarios that I think has so much to do with me but actually has nothing to do with me no matter how much I try to convince myself that it does. Thinking that something has a lot to do with me when it doesn't isn't about having a main character syndrome, I believe it comes from trying to be in control and trying to fix what probably isn't broken. If I can make it about me then I can work on the list I have given myself in an attempt to make things better and be better than I think it is in the present. Sometimes I blame this on being someone who absorbs energy. If I think the situation is about me then I can channel my energy into making it better so that I don't sit idle waiting for it to fix itself. But in so many scenarios, I've...

Hi, I'm Sam,   I didn't learn how to take accountability for the right reason. When things go the wrong way as a result of my actions or decisions, I will always be the first to acknowledge that I am the root cause and not the person who had to react to what I did. Someone else might see it as me being the bigger person to realize what had happened and take responsibility and that is completely what it is now but it didn't start of that way. In the beginning of my "accountability", I simply took accountability so that people would just shut up or simply just say nice things to encourage me because I've done the other thing they would've done which was to point out where and where I did wrong to result to the present situation. It will only take someone who has a really hard time reading the room to still try to point out my wrongs while I'm actively blaming myself while trying to take accountability for my actions. If the person can read th...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I took my time to sit down and I tried to figure out the natural state of humans and I honestly think that humility should be our default mode if you consider how often we recycle different things in our lives and I'm not referring to plastics or those kind of recyclables. We recycle feelings, opinions, materials, humans, love, hatred, positions, cars and so on. At every point in our lives, somethings that we will consider new, with all the happiness, appreciation and love has probably been used by someone else and we will place so much value on something or someone another person discarded and wants nothing to do with. And this realization has absolutely nothing to do with how I receive or appreciate anything that's comes to me, it doesn't help me decide how much value to place on it or the sentimental value. I have the absolutely freedom to attach as much or as little as I want to it depending on how I feel about it and not about who had it ...

Hi, I'm Sam,  I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know exactly how you feel when you have any sort of interaction with certain people in your life. There are people in our lives that we actually do not have much of a choice when it comes to interacting with them and all we can really do is to reduce how often we interact with them and there are exhausting people who we do not really need to interact with but for some reason we will interact with them, complain about the interaction, do nothing about cutting them off or removing ourselves from it, rinse repeat. It's possible that we took so much time trying to figure our exactly how we feel about the interaction but we have decided not to see it for exactly what it is because after the identification comes the thought to carry out an action if you eventually decide on what action to take in any of the scenarios.  Certain emotional situations require more strength than we would ever gi...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  I know everyone says this "I am my own competition " and everyone really should say it even when they don't believe it, say it as often as you can till you believe it. I wake up everyone morning and strive to make little decisions that will lead to the person and life I aspire to live in the nearest future. Sometimes the future is vivid enough to picture and sometimes I get greedy and try to belittle the imagination by telling myself that whatever it is that I can imagine is not scary enough because they say that our dreams should scare us but no one talks about how the scary dream can feel so far away and out of reach that I start to think that I'm not doing enough because the little things that I'm doing in the moment is no where close to what will help me achieve the scary ambitions. I've conditioned my mind to appreciate the ambitions that I can actually fit into my imaginations but also have it at the back of my mind they ar...

Hi, I'm Sam,  The year was 2021 and the month was January, right after everything that came with 2020 and with everything that happened that year, I like to focus on the fact that I got two Taylor Swift albums and no, it's not my way to downplay how terrible that year was or the irreplaceable loss people experienced but we get to choose what to focus on in any moment in time and I want to focus on that for now. Just like any other company, the company I worked for then made plans for the new year and making plans was one thing and taking action was a different ball game but my company decided that we needed to open a branch in another city which meant that some of us were going to have to move to this new city. I was pleased with this plan because it felt like a fresh start and it was a fresh start and it couldn't have come at a better time with the heaviness of the year before. I somehow convinced myself that things would be better and different because of the ...

Hi, I'm Sam,  I really do think that love has to be the warmest feeling to experience, especially because humans are the most selfish creatures and as such we tend to do things that make us feel good and caters to our likes, wants and needs that when someone decides to put their extremely loved self at a place and not only think of you but back it up with actions that probably has nothing to do with them but so much if not everything to do with you, yeah, that warm feeling is such a good feeling. Naturally, the easiest place to find love is at home, it's like a follow-come necessity that it is naturally expected but it's quite unfortunate that not everyone gets to experience love at home. For me when I think of home, I immediately feel loved, understood and backed up that I don't feel alone.  I asked one of my best friends what jazz I did to have and keep my friends so close and the way they come through for me makes me wonder if I truly deserve it and if I ...

Hi, I'm Sam ,  It's very easy to brag about always trying your best to be in control of so many aspects of life even though so many things will try to remind you that always being in control is not always how things go. So the pride taken when things are indeed under your control is warranted and not at all out of place. I have finally come to understand it when people say " your comfort zone will kill you ". The first time I heard it, I legit thought they were being dramatic and unreasonable but like always, when you get to a point, you realize why people come to certain conclusions to the issues of life. Take me for instance. I believe I've come to that jarring point and I must confess, it's not a good feeling at all. I have done a terrible job at not realizing that I've been in my comfort zone for far too long and I have been labeling my comfort zone with different names instead of acknowledging it for exactly what it is and trying to get m...

Hi, I'm Sam,  One of my most celebrated skill by everyone around me is being a very good driver. I thought the joy I experienced when I started driving was going to be short lived but over 10 years later, I still get excited whenever I have to drive. My joy and pride in driving has made me the designated driver even when alcohol is not involved. People just get comfortable letting me drive because they get to completely relax and not try to step on the imaginary brake and turn the steering a little bit from the passenger's seat. I am very proud to say that I taught my two sisters how to drive and they can both attest to the fact that I not just a very good driver but also a very good teacher in that aspect. When I started teaching my immediate elder sister how to drive, I realized how much of a challenge it can be to learn something new. I encouraged her everyday but what she didn't know was I was equally challenging and encouraging myself because I started to l...